PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
