Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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