I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
try to milk me bitch
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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