I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
