i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
