she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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