How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
