It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I need to calm my uterus...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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