lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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