You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
