My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
