Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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