come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
