Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
