who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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