Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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