Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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