put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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