R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
