That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
