You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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