Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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