It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
