so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
