He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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