There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize