So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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