sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
