I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
