rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
