Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
