I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I met the friendliest cop last night
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
