Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
