as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
