There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
