She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
