Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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