why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
