the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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