I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
