I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
