I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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