Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So squirting runs in the family.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
