Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
