I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
