i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
