all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
