Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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