it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
