My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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