i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
