It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
