This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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