I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
