Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
