My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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