We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
