Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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