My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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