Plan B is the new Plan A
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
