I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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