im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I am naked and annoyed.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
